Resources · This Wasn't The Plan
UK Resources & Support

You don't have to figure this out alone.

A curated list of UK-specific organisations, helplines and services — everything from emergency support to legal advice, financial guidance and help for your children.

Not an endorsement. These organisations are listed for information only. Always verify details directly with the organisation before relying on them. Phone numbers and services may change. This is not a substitute for professional legal, financial or medical advice.

🆘

Emergency Support

6 resources
National Domestic Abuse Helpline
Confidential support for anyone experiencing domestic abuse. Men can also use this line.
📞 0808 2000 247 free, 24/7
nationaldahelpline.org.uk →
Samaritans
Confidential emotional support for anyone in distress or struggling to cope.
📞 116 123 free, 24/7
samaritans.org →
Refuge
Emergency accommodation and support for women and children escaping domestic abuse.
refuge.org.uk →
ManKind Initiative
Confidential helpline specifically for male victims of domestic abuse.
📞 01823 334244
mankind.org.uk →
Childline
Confidential support for children and young people experiencing family difficulties.
📞 0800 1111 free, 24/7
childline.org.uk →
NSPCC Helpline
For adults concerned about a child's welfare.
📞 0808 800 5000
nspcc.org.uk →
💰

Financial Support & Advice

5 resources
MoneyHelper
Free, impartial government-backed guidance on pensions, debt and budgeting.
📞 0800 138 7777
moneyhelper.org.uk →
StepChange Debt Charity
Free debt advice and support for people in financial difficulty.
📞 0800 138 1111
stepchange.org →
Child Maintenance Service
Information about arranging child maintenance through the CMS or privately.
📞 0800 171 2345
gov.uk/child-maintenance →
Pension Wise
Free government guidance on pension options if you are over 50.
📞 0800 138 3944
pensionwise.gov.uk →
Turn2us
Help accessing benefits, grants and financial support. Includes a benefits calculator.
turn2us.org.uk →
🧠

Mental Health & Emotional Support

5 resources
Mind
Information and support for anyone experiencing mental health difficulties.
📞 0300 123 3393
mind.org.uk →
Relate
Relationship counselling and support, including during separation or divorce.
relate.org.uk →
BACP Therapist Directory
Find accredited counsellors and therapists in your area.
bacp.co.uk →
NHS Talking Therapies
Free NHS counselling and psychological therapies — self-refer or via your GP.
nhs.uk/mental-health →
Anxiety UK
Support for people living with anxiety disorders.
📞 03444 775 774
anxietyuk.org.uk →
👶

Support for Children & Parents

4 resources
Gingerbread
Support, advice and community for single parents.
📞 0808 802 0925
gingerbread.org.uk →
Family Lives
Support for parents navigating family challenges including separation.
📞 0808 800 2222
familylives.org.uk →
Cafcass
Children and Family Court Advisory Service — information about their role in family court proceedings.
cafcass.gov.uk →
OnePlusOne
Evidence-based tools and information to support parents and children through separation.
oneplusone.org.uk →
🏠

Housing Support

4 resources
Shelter
Free housing advice and support for anyone facing housing problems or homelessness.
📞 0808 800 4444 free, 24/7
shelter.org.uk →
Gov.uk — Housing & Divorce
Official government guidance on what happens to the family home during divorce.
gov.uk/divorce/divide-money-property →
Crisis
Support for people facing homelessness, including those leaving a relationship.
📞 0808 800 4444
crisis.org.uk →
Local Council Housing
Your local council can advise on emergency housing, housing benefit and the housing register if you need to leave your home.
Find your local council →
📖

Key Terminology

30 terms

Divorce comes with a lot of words nobody explains. This is a plain-English reference for the terms you'll encounter — from your first solicitor letter to the final order.

The Process
Petition
The formal application to start divorce proceedings. Since the 2022 no-fault divorce law, either party can apply — or both jointly — without needing to cite reasons. Filed online via gov.uk.
No-fault divorce
Introduced in April 2022. You no longer need to blame the other party or wait two years. You simply state the marriage has broken down irretrievably.
Conditional Order
Formerly called Decree Nisi. A court order confirming there is no reason the divorce cannot proceed. You are not yet divorced at this point.
Final Order
Formerly called Decree Absolute. The order that legally ends the marriage. Do not apply for this before your financial settlement is agreed — it can affect pension and inheritance rights.
Decree Nisi / Decree Absolute
The old names for Conditional Order and Final Order. You may still see these terms in older documents and some correspondence.
Mediation
A neutral third party helps both parties reach agreement. Usually faster and cheaper than court. Agreement reached can be turned into a Consent Order.
MIAM
Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. Mandatory before applying to court. An information session to see if mediation is suitable — not a commitment to mediate.
Financial Settlement
Form E
The financial disclosure form both parties complete in court proceedings. Lists all assets, income, liabilities and financial needs. Running to 30+ pages.
Financial Disclosure
Both parties fully revealing their financial position. Required whether you settle by agreement or go to court. Hiding assets is contempt of court.
Consent Order
A legally binding record of the financial agreement. Without a Consent Order, either party can make financial claims in the future — even after remarriage.
Clean Break
Ends all financial claims permanently. No ongoing maintenance, no future claims. Generally the preferred outcome where achievable.
Spousal Maintenance
Regular payments from one ex-spouse to the other where there is a significant income gap. Separate from child maintenance.
Mesher Order
Delays the sale of the family home — typically until the youngest child turns 18. Equity is divided later.
CETV
Cash Equivalent Transfer Value. The lump sum value of a defined benefit pension. Allow up to 3 months for a response.
Pension Sharing Order
Splits one party's pension, giving the other their own pot. One of three ways pensions are dealt with in divorce.
Matrimonial assets
Assets acquired during the marriage considered available for division — typically the family home, savings and pensions built up during the marriage.
Section 25 factors
The criteria a court considers: income, earning capacity, needs, standard of living, length of marriage, contributions and conduct.
Children & Arrangements
Child Arrangements Order (CAO)
Specifies where a child lives and when they spend time with each parent. A last resort — courts prefer parents to agree.
Parental Responsibility
Legal rights and duties in relation to a child. Not removed by divorce.
CAFCASS
Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service. Represents children's interests in family court proceedings.
Child Maintenance
Regular payments by the non-resident parent. Separate from the financial settlement — it is ongoing.
Shared care
At least 52 nights/year with the paying parent reduces CMS maintenance calculations. Equal shared care (50/50) can reduce it to nil.
Legal & Costs
Without Prejudice
Written on letters during negotiations — those contents cannot be used in court. Use it on any offer or concession.
Open correspondence
Letters not marked Without Prejudice — can be shown to a court. Be careful what you put in open correspondence.
Costs Order
A court order requiring one party to pay the other's legal costs. Usually only awarded where one party has behaved unreasonably.
Litigant in Person
Representing yourself in court without a solicitor. Process requirements are the same as if you had representation.
Legal aid
Government funding for legal costs. Available primarily where domestic abuse is involved. Check gov.uk/check-legal-aid.
McKenzie Friend
A person — not necessarily a lawyer — who accompanies you to court. Cannot speak on your behalf but can help organise documents.
Undertaking
A formal promise made to a court. Breaching it is contempt of court.
Free tools
While you're here, use the tools.

The resource library tells you who can help. The free tools help you understand your own situation before you make that call.

See all free tools →
UK Support

You don't have to figure this out alone.

Helplines, legal advice, financial support and housing help — all UK-specific.

Not an endorsement. Verify details directly with organisations. Not a substitute for professional advice.
📖Key Terminology

Plain-English definitions — tap any term to expand.

The Process
Petition▼
The formal application to start divorce. Either party can apply — or both jointly — without needing to cite reasons.
No-fault divorce▼
Introduced April 2022. You no longer need to blame the other party. Simply state the marriage has broken down irretrievably.
Conditional Order▼
Formerly Decree Nisi. Confirms there is no reason the divorce cannot proceed. You are not yet divorced.
Final Order▼
Formerly Decree Absolute. Legally ends the marriage. Do not apply before your financial settlement is agreed — it can affect pension and inheritance rights.
Mediation▼
A neutral third party helps both parties reach agreement. Usually faster and cheaper than court.
MIAM▼
Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. Mandatory before applying to court. An information session — not a commitment to mediate.
Financial Settlement
Form E▼
30+ page financial disclosure form. Lists all assets, income and liabilities. Foundation of any settlement negotiation.
Consent Order▼
A legally binding record of the financial agreement. Without one, either party can make financial claims in future — even after remarriage.
Clean Break▼
Ends all financial claims permanently. No ongoing maintenance. Generally the preferred outcome.
Spousal Maintenance▼
Regular payments from one ex-spouse to the other where there is a significant income gap. Separate from child maintenance.
Mesher Order▼
Delays the sale of the family home until the youngest child turns 18. Equity is divided later.
CETV▼
Cash Equivalent Transfer Value. The lump sum value of a defined benefit pension. Allow up to 3 months for the provider to respond.
Pension Sharing Order▼
Splits one party's pension, giving the other their own pot.
Section 25 factors▼
The criteria a court considers: income, needs, standard of living, length of marriage, contributions and conduct.
Children & Arrangements
Child Arrangements Order▼
Specifies where a child lives and when they spend time with each parent. A last resort — courts prefer parents to agree.
Parental Responsibility▼
Legal rights and duties in relation to a child. Not removed by divorce.
CAFCASS▼
Represents children's interests in family court. May produce a report on your children's wishes.
Child Maintenance▼
Regular payments by the non-resident parent. Separate from the financial settlement.
Shared care▼
At least 52 nights/year with the paying parent reduces CMS maintenance calculations. 50/50 can reduce it to nil.
Legal & Costs
Without Prejudice▼
Written on letters during negotiations — those contents cannot be used in court. Use it on any offer or concession.
Open correspondence▼
Letters not marked Without Prejudice — can be shown to a court. Be careful what you commit to in writing.
Litigant in Person▼
Representing yourself in court. Process requirements are the same as with legal representation.
Legal aid▼
Government funding for legal costs. Available primarily where domestic abuse is involved. Check gov.uk/check-legal-aid.
McKenzie Friend▼
Accompanies you to court for support. Cannot speak on your behalf but can help organise documents.
Undertaking▼
A formal promise made to a court. Breaching it is contempt of court.
Free tools
While you're here, use the tools.

The resource library tells you who can help. The free tools help you understand your own situation first.

See all free tools →
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